The effects of the heroin wore off slowly. Without you I should never have recovered either health or reason. You understand. Occasionally the flames would bend, twist and writhe crazily as the punka-boy bestirred himself. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. “We have no airs and graces here, and my hat hangs from a peg in the passage. Either we go forth together, or they shall bury me.
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