And yet, often when alone, he wondered: had McClintock been wrong, or had she ceased to care in that way? The possibility that she no longer cared should have filled him with unalloyed happiness, whereas it depressed him, cut the natural vanity of youth into shreds and tatters. He was silent. On the day he carried the manuscript to Copeley's he brought back a packet of letters, magazines, and newspapers. "What shall I say? Shall I tell you, or shall I leave you in the dark—as I must always leave her? What shall I say except that I am accursed of men? Yes; I have loved something—her mother. Her mind had been and was full of the thought of Capes, a huge generalized Capes-lover. "The idea of a Malay, born Mahometan, being reared in the Vatican, hit me as funny. The Oriental waterfronts were rank with the stuff. He seemed to deliberate. His foot touched the rounded edge of the starling, and glanced off, precipitating him into the water. You will survive, mark my words. His first reaction had been explosive as the hurts of the past rose up to taunt him.
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